Unfinished Projects

Unfinished Projects

My grandmother made a shirt for my cousin who was in fourth grade. The shirt had

the buttons sewn on and the button holes made. This was back when women actually

sewed at home and did things by hand. The one thing missing was the collar, which

was together complete with lining but had not been attached to the shirt.         

My cousin was a bit older than

us.                                                                                                                                        

When my younger brother was in fourth grade, Grannie gave the shirt to my mother

still minus the collar. As my son approached fourth grade, Mom passed the             

shirt to me. I sewed on the collar and my son wore the shirt.                                                     

In the space of 25 years or more, the unfinished shirt had been passed down three

times before it was finished. It got me to thinking about all the projects I start and do

not see to fruition.

Traveling

Traveling

            When I enter a new state, I stop at the welcome center.

Sometimes I am greeted by offers of coffee or fruit juice

but always with helpful information.

            At a new town, I stop by tourist information.

A lot of the places are located in what was once the rail depot.

All share the nuances of their particular local.

I have found the best meat pies in the South only to discover

a similar claim in the north.

More

Been going through the closet, drawers, shelves and getting rid of things I no longer use, need can wear or have worn out. I didn’t realize it would be such a task. Why can’t I let go of an old T-shirt that has holes in it? Is the sentiment attached to it holding me back? Am I afraid if I let go of the memory, it will never surface again? Knick Knacks clutter the shelves; each one has a memory attached. I hate to dust the shelf. I have to take things down, dust wipe them off and put them back. When it has lost its joy, it is time to let go.

Homeless

Homeless conjures up images of what?

Most would think someone smelly, living on the street, digging through

trash cans.

Think again; look at it backwards less a home.

Home is where you lay your head at night but what if

you don’t have that luxury. Homeless happens for a variety of reasons:

mental illness, alcoholism, job loss, etc.

I have heard stories but I have my own.

               My first memory of being homeless was spending two weeks in a

car parked under a shade tree. It was summer in the South. Dad

had a job but places to rent were few and those available would not rent

to families with kids. There was a park and big oak trees. A station at the

edge of the park allowed us to use the restroom where we could wash up each day.

Dad walked to work for two weeks. At the end of that time, Dad moved us

to his mother’s for a week until he could find us a place of our own.

                Another time, my husband left me. I slept on my mother’s couch; I had no

Job. Are you technically homeless? The next time I had no home,                                                                      

I stayed a while with my brother. No place to call your own is hard but having                                                     

Someone to help makes it bearable.

                I balked or more like I froze trying to explain what it feels like.    

As a child, you accept things as they come. Everything is new and exciting.

We played in the park all day, slept in the car at night but we were together.

                As an adult, it is different. You go to bed when the last person does and get

up with the first one. There is no privacy. I long for a good night’s sleep.

I keep my clothes in the car at the ready. I had responsibility. I had two young children.

I asked for help to find a job. I was told that since I had a college degree and

could teach school, there was no help. OK granted but remember this was June

and not a time for employment. I made it but I had a bad taste in my mouth.

I had help from my family. What do those who have no family to help do?

                Don’t judge to harshly until you know the facts. What is the saying,                                          

”There but for the grace of God go I.”

Three Days

Three Days

            My husband has a cousin who said throw out company and fish after three days. Now Shaw would come in on Monday night and leave Wednesday morning. He said that was three days. My husband never kept fish after a meal. So what is your limit for a stay?                                                                 Going some places and staying the night can be a real ordeal; you can’t wait to get out in the morning or worse yet, they suggest you stay in a hotel. So what do you do? Stay in a hotel. Other places feel like you have not been there long enough when it has been two weeks and time to go. What makes the difference? The people and their attitude to spending time with family. If we treat our family like friends would they stay be easier? I’m not sure but I do know that some people have a different relationship with friends that leaves them wanting to spend more time together.                                 When my kids were in college, we took turns finding a place to meet. If you could make it fine, if not, there was next time.

Mother's Day

Mother’s Day

My mother has been gone for over thirty years.

Sometimes I look back and realize that the issues

she had; were part her own doing and part of her medical history.

I think she did not take care of herself like she should have.

Easy for me to say as I have been there. When you care for others

you often put your own needs last. It is very easy to do

if you have young children or are caring for someone who is ill.

I have a short guide to help you.

The ebook will be released as soon as I can work out some technical

difficulties.

Look for the Samll Things

My grandsons ages 3 and 5 were sitting in front of the oven door
watching the cup cakes rise; the anticipation of fresh cupcakes only heightened
by the prospect of a birthday party.

I was told this was much better than watching paint dry as there
was an end point and action along the way as the cupcakes did their thing.

Have often we miss opportunities to enjoy the wonder  around us even if
it is a small thing.

By the way, my youngest grandson who turned three said the cup cakes
were delicious.

Am I Ready

Am I Ready?

At the turn of the century, one of the glossy magazine came out

with 100 things you should do before the end of the century.

I thought I was pretty square; however, I did read through

and discovered I had done all but three.

That's not quite correct.

I've never driven down the coast in a red convertible

but I have ridden down the interstate in a convertible with the

top down. Those who know me know that cruising the coast

is one of my great joys.

Does that qualify?

Take Time for You

                        “Take time for yourself,” I tell caregivers. The usual response is a shrug of the shoulders and a ‘How?”Some recognize the need to take care of self. Others never see the need because they are so busy being a martyr taking care of everyone but self. It does not make an impression when I mention, “If you go down, who takes over?” These caregivers assume they are invincible, like teenagers, they believe they can handle anything that comes along. I stand in awe of them. When they fall, I hope there is someone to help get them back on their feet so they can go back to their passion with a new attitude.                                                                                                     

                For me, I found that I could make it six months going full tilt. Now that I am a bit older, I give out a lot sooner. Like on an airplane, you are told if the cabin looses pressure, put on your own mask. What will it take to make you realize that you cannot do it all? Maybe I can give you some hints to help make your life better, even if you don’t think you need it. Give it a read.                                                                                              You cannot be on duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is not possible. You have to sleep sometime. You need to rebuild yourself so you have something to give. If your bucket is empty, you have nothing to give to the one you care for. Replenish yourself.                                                                                        So you don’t feel you can take off an afternoon, can you manage ten minutes? Get up early in the morning and take some time for yourself. Make you feel better? Then find other ten minute segments to take as your own.  

Where Do I belong?

            We walked into a restaurant in the community where my husband was born.
I noticed he fit right in with the farmers gathered around the tables drinking coffee
and chatting. With their work boots and cowboy hats to shade them from the glaring
Kansas sun, you could tell they spent a lot of time outdoors. A few had caps on but all                      
shared a common lifestyle. My husband even drove a pickup. This place represented                                     the life he led.
What about me? I didn’t dress like the few women in the place. I don’t own a pair                    
of blue jeans. Where do I belong?

Good advice

            ARGUING

            People argue about the strangest things. I remember watching a TV show where the husband and wife were arguing about which way the toilet paper should roll, up or down. They even included other people in the argument. It got to the point of ridiculousness. If all you worry about is which way to put the toilet tissue on the holder, you have no worries. Still we as humans want to be right.

            Bud and I had a disagreement about a stop light. He said it was a certain way. 

I knew he was wrong and said so. Then I got to thinking about it. I discovered two things: 

1. How could I prove him wrong? 

The light had been changed so there was no way to prove either of us correct. 

2. In the grand scheme of things, what difference did it make?

            My younger brother gave me some advice: “Pick your battles.” Amazing since he did not have kids and he was always picking fights; I knew he was right. Let the small stuff slide and don’t compromise on the big stuff.